Commitment

"Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality. It is the words that speak boldly of your intentions. And the actions which speak louder than the words. It is making the time when there is none. Coming through time after time, year after year. Commitment is the stuff character is made of; the power to change the face of things. It is the daily triumph of integrity over skepticism." - Anon

Commitment can be a chance to hold yourself accountable for what you are manifesting in life. The word commitment is a scary one for many. It means taking responsibility for your thoughts, actions, emotions, and spirit. Aligning yourself with your integrity and your truth in order to create an authentic vision.

If there are moments in your life where you are not getting the results you desire - contemplate the question: Where am I not committing? We fear commitment for many reasons. We may fail, we may get hurt, we may fear success, and many of these are related to old patterns of not knowing how to say "yes" to life. Commitment is just that: saying "yes" and following through with determination and confidence.

I know for me, commitment has been difficult. I liked things (and still do.. I admit) to be subject to change and not necessarily feel locked in to something. I am a free spirit; and damn it - I have the right to change my mind. But, I began to notice an interesting pattern. Things in my life were just not turning out how I wanted them to. I never ever thought about the true meaning of the word commitment and the place it had in my life. And sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking that we are committed to something or someone. We want it, we love it, and we aren't thinking about changing that, so doesn't that mean we are committed? But, true commitment takes place inside.. allowing yourself to let go of insecurity and claim what you really want. I began to realize for me, it was a deeper issue. An issue of not feeling worthy to have the life I really wanted. I began to ponder what that word symbolized and meant to me. I allowed myself to have the courage to believe I had the resolve to achieve my visions. And life began to form around that inner belief and the energy of taking responsibility for my patterns.

I invite you to look at your own relationship with commitment. Does it bring up fear? Does it make you want to run for the hills? Do you feel like you're in a cage? Why? Are you living the life you really want?

" A person with half volition goes backward and forwards, but makes no progress on even the smoothest of roads."

- Thomas Carlyle

Perfect

Alice Walker: “In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they're still beautiful.”

Ah, the curse of perfectionism. It manifests as a stubborn clinging to attain the best possible outcome in order to feel secure. Who are we trying to be perfect for? Do more, be more, achieve more, work-out more, drive yourself to the limit; or on the opposite side of the spectrum: why even bother to try in the first place? Perfectionism can keep you stuck in many ways. Stuck in judgement, stuck in fear, stuck in never being "good enough."

In my observation of perfectionism, it seems to be a side effect of wanting approval. Perhaps if we are perfect, (however we perceive this) we can finally take that deep breath, attain happiness, and know that others are proud of us. Maybe it's a pattern that began in childhood, through the family dynamic - then became magnified in society. Have you ever heard, "You don't need to try your best. Oh, that's ok, honey - just be happy to be mediocre." No. And if you have, well...I'd like to meet these people.

Perfectionism is a state of deranged Pitta, ayurvedically speaking. The dosha (meaning that which is quick to go out of balance) Pitta is made up of the elements FIRE and WATER. When in balance, Pitta people are goal-oriented, discerning, motivated, and natural leaders. When out of balance, they tend to be critical, bossy, sarcastic, hot tempered perfectionists. Pitta people can be hardest on themselves and this can lead to the out of balance state of perfectionism. We all have Pitta in us to a certain degree. It's important to notice when the imbalance occurs, in order to move back to a place of harmony.

How can one move back to well being? Ayurveda works with the principle of "like attracts like." So, when dealing with a particular imbalance, you would want to do the OPPOSITE of what you are currently doing. Strictly dealing with the mind and emotions, Pitta people are encouraged to meditate, express their emotions in a healthy way, be in nature, "chill out", and rest. This is easier said than done, however. When a predominating dosha manifests, it's very difficult to choose the opposite. A Pitta constitution thrives on this intensity of thought and emotion. To try and tell a PItta to relax and mediate... well, trust me, it's not going to go over smoothly.

In order to be in a state of balance, one must have the courage to change patterns that lead to disharmony. As Anna Quindlen states,"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself."

: )

Open Your Heart

Florida Scott-Maxwell:
"Life does not accomodate you, it shatters you. It is meant to, and it couldn't do it better. Every seed destroys its container or else there would be no fruition."

How do you find a sense of comfort when the ground beneath you seems to be disappearing? Why do we attempt to find meaning and safety in life when things go terribly wrong (our perception)? To accept life as a swirling container of beauty within destruction while maintaining a sense of hope and happiness - that is a sobering reality.

I once read an article about pain and suffering and how we humans like to hide from it, run from it, and avoid it at all costs. I looked at my own life, and saw how I protected myself and refused vulnerability. The article laid it out in no uncertain terms: You will be hurt, you will be disappointed, people will let you down, things won't work out, bad things will happen for no reason. Wow. It was too much, yet something within knew it was true. I began to live my life with this understanding and more importantly, from a place of acceptance. I would attempt to be a willing participant with an open heart the best I could, while knowing pain could be just around the corner.

In our society, closed hearts are abundant. You may even recognize the pattern physically in yourself. Shoulders rounded forward, pain in -between the shoulder blades, tight chest muscles and shallow breaths that don't really ever move past the diaphragm. Emotionally, there may be lack of self love or inability to receive/give love, anxiety, grief, panic and an all over absence of coherence.

Yogi Julian Walker states, " Difficult things happen in life, and sometimes it has no meaning, sometimes it is nobody's fault.  This is terrifying and humbling...my suggestion is to sit with it as part of your practice. Be moved by it. Feel what it brings up for you. Love the people around you more deeply in the knowledge that none of us are immune to the power of nature. Find meaning in your life on a daily basis in the knowledge that this is all we have."

We have been through very difficult and confusing times recently. It is not easy to accept these realities and deal with them 'real'istically. However, when you choose to welcome life as an uncertain existence - a crazy, heartbreaking, heart opening, joyful, terrifying, sad, beautiful blip in time; your heart might open just a bit. You may find yourself an anchor in the choppy seas of daily life. And you may be able to just BE with it and actually find comfort in the chaos.

Let Love Rule

Sara Paddison, The Hidden Power of the Heart:
"Care flowing through your system gradually reconnects you with your spirit and vitality. Care enough about yourself to go to your heart to get peace, clarity, and direction before you act. True self-care has to come first."

Many women I see as clients are true masters of putting everyone else first before themselves. The concept of self-care/love is foreign or even scary to some. I am often amazed at the level of denial my clients hold towards responding to their own needs. However, within that "tight bud" of self-neglect, there is a glimmer of hope. If they have taken the time to set up an appointment with me, there is some aspect of wisdom guiding them towards healing.

Patterns of believing we are not worthy of our own love often begin during childhood. If women then become mothers, it is very easy to give love to others. Even women without any children can very easily take care of every one else before themselves. Why is this? I encourage my clients to explore this question and understand the reasons why they deny giving love to themselves. In my own life, and as a polarity therapist - I recognize the positive effects of practicing self-love. An opening, a softening, a blossoming takes place. Energy and vitality return, breath is fuller, relationships deepened, and manifestations of MORE LOVE occur.

Certainly this can be an uncomfortable process and many don't even know how or where to begin. As cheesy as it sounds, affirmations of self-love can be very beneficial when there is resistance. Whenever we attempt to evolve or let go of old patterns, it can be challenging to change what we are used to. During these moments of difficulty, we can choose to use an affirmation to ground our feelings of helplessness. Here is an example: " I now choose to let go of anything blocking me from self-love. Loving myself heals my life. As I love myself, I nourish my mind, body and soul."

Love truly heals, and everyone deserves it - most of all: YOU.